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10 signs that you're a World Cup widower


Official England FA Oversize Beer Glass £6.00 marks and spencers        Window Flag £3.50 marks and spencers

  • You come home to find that your husband has bought every England flag for sale in your local neighbourhood.

  • Whilst the World Cup is on you are banned from talking, unless its sentences composed of 5 syllables. Of which only one line can be said until half time.

  • A map resembling that of a war lord suddenly finds its way into your living room with intricate drawings and pins everywhere.

  • Your partner doesn’t notice you’ve dyed your hair for two weeks.

  • You stop shaving your legs and your partner doesn’t notice.

  • You come home to find the recycling done, but find you have enough beer cans to build a small hut.

  • Your partner cancels any friend or family engagements, claiming he has tonsillitis.

  • You haven’t had sex in three weeks as your partners in training for the World cup.

  • You are surprised with a once in a lifetime trip to South Africa.

  • You announce to your partner that you’re leaving them and they ask you to bring back a 6 pack of beer.